Different person, same ending. You pick someone who cannot quite show up, or you pull away the moment things get close, or you give until there is nothing left and wonder why you feel unseen. You can see the pattern clearly. Seeing it has not been enough to change it.
Peace Love Wellness offers individual therapy for relationship patterns and attachment — work on how you learned to connect, protect yourself, and ask for what you need, so that your relationships stop feeling like reruns. You do not need to be in a relationship to do it.
These patterns are not character flaws. They are strategies that made sense once, usually early, and they can change when they are understood in a relationship that feels safe enough to try something different.
Most people who come to us for this already understand their pattern. They have read about attachment styles, they know about their childhood, and they still find themselves doing the same thing at 11 pm when a text goes unanswered.
That is because these patterns live in the body and in the moment of contact with another person, not only in what you know. They shift through experience: noticing the pull as it happens, staying with what it protects, and trying something new with someone steady enough to try it with.
Why Insight Is Not Always EnoughOur approach is relational, which means the relationship with your therapist is part of the work. The ways you protect yourself with other people tend to show up in therapy too, and that gives us something real to work with instead of only talking about it.
Over time, therapy becomes a place to practice the things that feel risky elsewhere: asking for something, disagreeing, being seen when you are not at your best, and finding that the connection holds.
Read About Our ApproachThis page is about individual therapy. If the pattern you want to change is happening between you and a current partner, couples therapy may be the better starting point. And if the main thing you feel is worry and doubt inside a relationship, our relationship anxiety page speaks to that more directly.
All sessions are online for clients located in New York, on a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform. Many clients use insurance. We are in-network with Aetna, Anthem / Empire BlueCross (including Excellus, Highmark, and out-of-state BlueCard plans), Carelon, Cigna, EmblemHealth, MagnaCare, Meritain, and NYSHIP / The Empire Plan. Coverage varies by plan and clinician, and we help clarify options before you begin.
Writing from the Peace Love Wellness blog on attachment, closeness, and the habits that form around them.
A clear look at attachment styles, where they come from, and how they shift.
Read MoreWanting connection and bracing against it at the same time is more common than it feels.
Read MorePeople-pleasing usually starts as a way to stay safe and connected. Here is how it takes hold.
Read MoreExplores relationship patterns in the context of family, culture, and identity, with practical skills for the moments emotions run high.
Currently accepting new clients
Warm, practical work on relationship patterns, communication, and family roles, in English or Spanish.
Currently accepting new clients
Attachment-focused, depth-oriented work on relational patterns and the history underneath them.
Currently full — accepting waitlist requests
Sessions are online for clients located in New York. We review clinical fit, insurance, and current openings before you begin. Insurance & Fees · Get Started
Questions we hear from people who want to understand and change how they show up in relationships.
Yes. Attachment styles are learned patterns, not fixed traits. They can become more secure through new relational experiences, including a steady therapeutic relationship, and through understanding what your reactions are protecting. Change tends to be gradual, and it is well documented.
No. Many people do this work while single, after a breakup, or while dating. The patterns show up with friends, family, coworkers, and in therapy itself, so there is plenty to work with.
Often because what is familiar feels like chemistry. People tend to be drawn to dynamics that resemble early relationships, including the painful parts, and to repeat the role they learned in them. Therapy helps you recognize that pull as it happens and widen what feels possible.
Couples therapy works with both partners on the dynamic between them. Relationship anxiety therapy focuses on worry, doubt, and reassurance-seeking inside a relationship. This is individual therapy about your longer-running patterns across relationships: who you choose, how you attach, and what you do when closeness or conflict shows up.
Zaire Smalls, MHC-LP, and Karen Garcia, MHC-LP, work with relationship patterns and are accepting new clients. Cameron Eshgh, LMHC-D, focuses on attachment and relational patterns and is currently full and accepting waitlist requests.
Many clients use insurance for therapy at Peace Love Wellness. We are in-network with Aetna, Anthem / Empire BlueCross (including Excellus, Highmark, and out-of-state BlueCard plans), Carelon, Cigna, EmblemHealth, MagnaCare, Meritain, and NYSHIP / The Empire Plan. Coverage varies by plan and clinician, and we help clarify your options before you begin.
You already know what keeps happening. Therapy is where it starts to happen differently. Tell us a little about what you're looking for, and we'll help match you with a clinician who feels like the right fit.